GRIEF: Here We Go Again!

grief

When my mother passed away early this year, after a long and painful decline in health, I was initially relieved because I knew that her years of suffering were over. The vigilance and need for support that accompanied my mother’s many years of suffering was suddenly gone. That sense of vigilance and support prevented me from fully grieving my father when he passed away several years earlier. The sense of relief that my mother was no longer suffering carried me through until Mother’s Day when I entered another phase of grief; and no I am not talking about the five stages you have all probably been told are ‘normal’. I felt lost, flat (lethargy and apathy), empty, sad and like an orphan. Hard to believe that at 66 one could feel like an orphan. Every day that passes presents me with a mixed bag of emotions, some days more challenging than others.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ cycle of grief. You will be told that grieving is a process. It is a very personal process and no two people will go through the process in the same way. The time frame for grieving is different for everyone and the emotions may change daily. Despite my daily goal to be positive and upbeat; world events, bad news and stressors impacted my grief. Past grief can add to present grief to magnify the impact and body’s responses.  Old wounds can be triggered by the loss. Previous vulnerabilities and health challenges can revisit. Other factors can add to feelings of grief.   From a grief counselling perspective – whatever you are feeling is normal.

feelings-chart6http://aasrahelpline.blogspot.com/2012_08_01_archive.html

When my husband passed away in 2010 after suffering through a horrific melanoma skin cancer battle, my grief was different. Despite my initial sense of relief that his suffering was over, the bag of varied emotions that presented over the years was vast and still is.

Counselling provides strategies to help deal with grief, and doctors provide prescriptions for medications to numb or dull the impact, and others to help you sleep. After my ongoing recovery from toxicant induced loss of tolerance (TILT) for chemicals, I chose not to take medications after my husband’s death. I rode the wave of emotions that followed; sometimes feeling like I was making progress and sometimes feeling like I was going down for the count. Luckily I had my amazing children (their spouses) and grandchildren to support me.

This time around the ‘grief cycle’ I have more options for dealing with the day to day emotions that surface. I have immense gratitude to my daughter Amanda who introduced me to doTerra essential oils several years ago. I also have immense gratitude to God for the bounty of plant essences that provide us with comfort and healing. Essential oils are my daily ‘go to’ to ride the grief wave of emotions and help my body and mind process what I am feeling.  The emotions wheel recommendations and the specific emotional aromatherapy essential oils provide a full range of relief options. Console is the doTerra aromatherapy oil recommended for grief. If you have trouble releasing your grief through tears, this may be the oil for you.  Cheer is another of my favourites, which I love to diffuse in the morning. I use a variety of essential oils to help me ride the wave of emotions that present daily while I am grieving.

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doTerra emotional aromatherapy oils:

doTERRA Console was designed to help promote feelings of comfort and hope—particularly in times of loss, sadness, or grief. The comforting scents of doTERRA Console help promote positivity and dispel negative, hopeless feelings when used topically and aromatically.

doTERRA Peace includes some of the most relaxing and calming oils such as Lavender, Marjoram, Vetiver, and Ylang Ylang essential oils. … When used topically or aromatically, the doTERRA Peace blend can promote feelings of peace, contentment, and reassurance.

doTERRA Motivate will help you unleash your creative powers and find the courage that comes from believing in yourself again. Go ahead and raise the bar–you can do it! Features Peppermint Plant, Clementine Peel, Coriander Seed, Basil Herb, Yuzu Peel, Melissa Leaf, Rosemary Leaf, Vanilla Bean.

doTERRA Cheer Uplifting Blend of citrus and spice essential oils provides a cheerful boost of happiness and positivity when you are feeling down. Its sunshiny, fresh, optimistic aroma will brighten any moment of your day.

doTERRA Passion blend combines spice and herbal essential oils such as Cinnamon Bark, Ginger, Cardamom, Clove, and Damiana. This mixture of oils creates a chemical profile with a high concentration of phenols and ethers, which contribute warming and renewing benefits to the doTERRA Passion blend.

doTERRA Forgive essential oil blend promotes feelings of contentment, relief, and patience. … Make time to meditate with doTERRA Forgive to help reduce negative emotions. Next time you begin a meditation, add one to two drops of doTERRA Forgive to the diffuser of your choice and diffuse.

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The Emotions & Essential Oils Wheel above comes with a companion reference guide which is really helpful in guiding your daily emotional aromatherapy selection.

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If you have not already concluded that ‘grief will change you’, it will; maybe short term, maybe long term. Those who love you will witness changes in your responses and behavior – this too is a normal component of grieving.

Consider a ‘creative weekend’ retreat to help you process your grief. Customize your retreat to fit your needs and desires.

MY HEALTH RECOVERY: The butterfly effect is the belief that small changes over time can create huge life changes – http://mybodycanhealitself.ca/wordpress/?p=3068

Butterfly effect

Contact me at elisabethlhines@gmail.com if you would like to attend a ‘creative weekend’ retreat or get started using emotional aromatherapy to help you through your grieving journey. Order your doTerra aromatherapy essential oils at www.mydoterra.com/elisabethlhines.

Elisabeth Hines, C.N.C., C.B.P. Holistic Wellness Practitioner, www.mybodycanhealitself.ca